40 Lessons I Learned by 40 (That’ll Save You Years of Pain)

Turning 40 isn’t just another candle on the cake.

It’s a gut check.

At 40, you either finally get real… or you keep lying to yourself.

I’ve been broke. I’ve been locked up. I’ve rebuilt from the ground up. These lessons didn’t come from a book — they came from scars, losses, comebacks, and quiet prayers at 2 AM.

Print them. Tattoo them on your brain. Because if you actually APPLY even a few of these, you’ll be dangerous in the best way possible.

1️⃣ Put God first

In my 20s, I thought I was the man. In my 30s, life humbled me. At 40, I finally understood: without God, none of this matters.

Faith isn’t optional — it’s the foundation.

2️⃣ Control what you can

When I lost my job and had $14 left in my bank account, I realized: I can’t control outcomes, people, or the market.

I can only control my attitude, my work ethic, and my response. That’s it. Do that, and the rest follows.

3️⃣ Adapt or get left behind

When COVID hit, I lost 90% of my income overnight. I could’ve complained… or I could pivot.

I pivoted. And it changed my whole game. Winners pivot faster than they panic.

4️⃣ Tenacity beats talent

I’ve trained with guys who are genetic freaks. But most of them vanish when life gets hard.

The ones who stay? They just refuse to quit. Be that guy.

5️⃣ Perseverance is the cheat code

I spent years working on businesses no one believed in. Years grinding in the gym before anyone noticed.

You want the "secret"? Here it is: Don’t stop showing up. Ever.

6️⃣ Discipline > motivation

Motivation is hype music. Discipline is showing up when no one’s clapping.

That’s when it counts.

7️⃣ Success is boring

Everyone loves "new." But real success is doing the same simple, unsexy stuff every day.

I’ve done the same 5 AM wake-ups, same macros, same sales calls — for years. That’s the game.

8️⃣ Your circle is your ceiling

I used to hang out with guys who only wanted to party and coast. Guess where I ended up? Broke and stuck.

Audit your circle. You either level up or get left behind.

9️⃣ Build quietly, flex later

When I was rebuilding after prison, I didn’t post about my "grind." I just worked.

Stop telling everyone your moves. Let results do the talking.

🔟 Money doesn’t fix mindset

I’ve made money. Lost it. Made it again.

If you’re broken inside, no dollar amount will save you. Work on your soul before your wallet.

11️⃣ Stop trying to please everyone

People will judge you whether you win or lose.

Your purpose isn’t a group project. Live it.

12️⃣ Pain is temporary. Lessons, not losses.

I’ve been knocked down — bankruptcy, betrayal, health scares.

But those losses? Just lessons in disguise. You only lose if you quit.

13️⃣ Your health is your first wealth

When I let my health slide, everything else suffered — my business, my relationships, my energy.

Your body is your vehicle. Maintain it or park it permanently.

14️⃣ Be present, not just there

I missed moments with my kids early on because I was always "working."

They don’t want a provider. They want their dad. Be there.

15️⃣ Forgive for YOU

Holding a grudge felt like holding a dumbbell in each hand 24/7.

The moment I dropped it? Freedom. Do it for you.

16️⃣ Create more than you consume

The moment I started creating — videos, programs, content — my life shifted.

Creators win. Scrollers complain.

17️⃣ Marry your mission too

Choosing the right partner saved my life. But choosing the right mission gave me purpose.

Pick both with intention.

18️⃣ Stay humble, stay hungry

The day I thought I "made it," life smacked me. Hard.

Stay grounded. Stay hunting.

19️⃣ Be a forever student

I used to think learning ended after school. Now? I spend more on books, courses, mentors than I did on my first car.

When you stop learning, you start dying.

20️⃣ You’re not too old, you’re too scared

I deadlift more now at 40 than I did at 25.

You’re not past your prime. You’re just scared to start.

21️⃣ Action beats analysis

I started my first coaching program with a Google Doc and a PayPal link.

Start messy. Fix it later.

22️⃣ Mastery before expansion

When I tried to do 5 businesses at once, I almost lost everything.

Dominate one lane first. Then build.

23️⃣ Be where your feet are

Anxiety lives in the future. Regret lives in the past.

Victory lives right now.

24️⃣ Know your season

There’s a season to plant and a season to harvest.

Trying to rush the harvest kills the crop. Respect the timing.

25️⃣ No > yes

Every yes costs you something.

Saying no protects your focus, energy, and mission.

26️⃣ Invest in health like retirement

Your body is an account. Deposit daily or pay penalties later.

27️⃣ Reinvention is survival

From prison to corporate exec to coach — I had to reinvent multiple times.

Stop clinging to old versions of you.

28️⃣ Pray like it depends on God, work like it depends on you

Faith and hustle are brothers.

Don’t pick one — embrace both.

29️⃣ Share your scars

The posts I thought would embarrass me (prison, failures, relapses) built the deepest connections.

Your scars help someone else heal.

30️⃣ Consistency compounds faster than talent

The best in any field aren’t the most talented — they’re the most consistent.

31️⃣ Guard your mind

Junk in = junk out.

Audit your content, conversations, and thoughts.

32️⃣ Earn your confidence

Confidence isn’t affirmations. It’s the receipts from promises kept to yourself.

33️⃣ Sleep is strategy

I used to brag about sleeping 4 hours. Dumb.

Sleep is how you reload your weapon.

34️⃣ Stay curious

The moment you think you know it all, you stop growing.

35️⃣ Celebrate progress, not perfection

Perfection kills dreams. Progress builds them.

36️⃣ Money is a tool, not a trophy

It’s a hammer to build freedom, not a medal to show off.

37️⃣ Own your story

Your past isn’t a prison. It’s the blueprint for your power.

38️⃣ Bet on yourself

The only sure investment is you.

39️⃣ Give without expecting

True service is helping someone who can’t pay you back.

40️⃣ Legacy > likes

Stop building for claps. Build so your kids’ kids remember your name.

👊 The real question:

Which one hits you the hardest?

Drop your number below.

If you’re serious about rebuilding your body, faith, and future after 40 — let’s get to work.

👉 Follow me and join the movement. We’re just getting started.